dear diary,

I am feeling stressed out. My neck hurts and my fainting spells are coming back which i can only relate to stress. This possible move has my body out of whack. I have been researching schools, homes, sports leagues, churches... you name it...I have googled it. Decisions decisions. It is difficult to make these important family decisions without knowing anything, except what I have found out online, about the area we might be moving to. I am looking forward to visiting Albany and Leesburg next week with my husband. Hopefully some of my questions and concerns will fade away.

I made chess squares the other day for the first time. How scrumptious are they? Really scrumptious and so easy to make.

I have been on the lookout for quilts. I stopped by the some local thrift stores and checked out what Target had. I found one I like at Target. I will keep a watchful eye for it to go on sale.

My kids are all doing great and don't seem to be phased one bit about our possible move out of state. Luke seems to be the only hesitant one but his attitude remains positive, for the most part.

The boys will be starting football here real soon. They are so ready and frankly so am I.

I want to eventually do one of the boys rooms grey and orange.

We still do not have a headboard for our bed. I am in search of one I can repaint or upholster. I need a good deal. And I am thinking about hanging chicken wire above our bed as well.

We are off soon to the dentist so Maddie can have two teeth pulled.    

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series of events

Luke had my camera one afternoon and shot this series of events of Micah. 

  

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The Paper Mama Photo Challenge

summer

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randomness

As I write this, Brady is taking fire wood from the fire pit and stacking it in front of the back door. I do not want to stop him because it is keeping him busy.

Today Micah rearranged his room, which he shares with Brady. His bed now blocks anyone from entering their room, unless of course you jump over his bed.

Brady prefers going commando.

Maddie told me today that she wants to work at the food counter at Sam's Club. I'm pretty sure her main reason is to have an unlimited supply of cinnamon pretzels at her disposal. I tried to steer her away by telling her she would have to wear a hairnet. To my dismay, she's okay with that.

Micah LOVES listening to music.

Maddie is an early riser and a list maker.

Brady has a temper.

Every evening when my husband gets home from work, all four kids stop what they are doing and run to hug him. It melts my heart.

Luke has an awesome sense of humor and we really connect because of it.

Brady loves to draw and is obsessed with taping his masterpieces to doors.

I know 5 women who are pregnant and my cousin just had her baby boy less than a month ago. I'm trying not to get the fever.

Lastly, my husband and I are going to our church's date night this Saturday where we will get a salsa dancing lesson. Super excited we are!

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The Paper Mama Photo Challenge

even though the flower in this photo taken with my phone is totally blurry, I love the angle.

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I can only imagine

As a child, my mom and dad told me that if you have Jesus as your Saviour, when you die you will go to heaven. He will be there to welcome you to his kingdom. I believed it then, and I still believe it. I wondered at times what heaven would look like and what I could do there. I wondered what Jesus looked like. But it was never something I thought a lot about.

Until April 9, 2010. The day my 16 year old brother died in a car accident.

Almost instantly, my thoughts and questions of heaven surfaced and I had to find answers. I cried out to God, even to Martin. I needed to know that Martin was for sure there, in heaven, and he was okay. I needed to know what he was doing and if he could see me. I needed to see him smile. (Now I actually have an image of Martin in my head of his face and he has the biggest smile. I am so thankful for that.) I reached for the Bible first, but it was too much to undertake. I was searching for very straight forward, juvenile like answers about heaven. I was so thirsty for knowledge and to know more about where my brother was going to be from now on. 

I can"t remember how I got the book, maybe my mom(more than likely) got it for us. I read Heaven is for Real and my mind and my heart were slowly but at ease.

It is about a young boy's trip to heaven and back. It is precious and simple. The words describing heaven came alive and helped me get a mental picture of heaven. It was exactly what I longed for during this difficult time. I wanted to be able to picture my brother in heaven and see him in all his glory with Jesus and the angels. I wanted to know if he would grow older and if his allergies would still bother him. I wanted to know who he would hang out with and what would they do. I wanted to know that he was okay. After reading this book and talking to friends and family, my doubts and worries turned in to delight and peace.

So now when I imagine entering the gates of heaven I see my brother waiting  for me with arms outstretched smiling. Sometimes I find myself more excited, in a sense, to see my brother in heaven than Jesus. Is that terrible to feel? I want to spend eternity with both Martin and Jesus but seeing my brother again puts a smile on my face.

I know my time will come. In His time. I will see Martin again. And we will both be smiling.

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phone photo dump

 

Well, not exactly the layout I had in mind. It'll do this time.

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