Wednesday, December 21, 2011

one more

I have been thinking about my brother a lot lately. More than usual. I think about him everyday since he died April 9, 2010. But the past weeks have been, just, different. My memories are more vivid. My pain has resurfaced itself. The longing to see his smile, hear his laugh, and hug his neck is unbearable at times. I hate to think about all the talks we won't be having about stuff like friends, girls and where he would be going to college. It's just not fair!

What would have been? How would our lives be different with him still here?

Luke has been sharing memories about what he and Martin did together. I know Luke misses him very much.

One more day. One more 'I love you'. One more game of Apples to Apples. Just a moment. To see his face. To know. To not hurt anymore. These are the things I truly want for Christmas.  

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry you are having a difficult time. The loss of Martin is always on our minds and the holidays make our memories even more vivid. Watching those movies yesterday was really bittersweet. Our memories of Martin are beautiful but there is always that deep hurt of missing him so much. I am always grateful we are all close together that we can share with each other and can help each other through it all. I am also glad you are talking to Luke and he is sharing his feelings. I know Luke has a special relationship with Martin and is deeply affected, though he preferred to keep it to himself.
I love you very much,