The way I see it, I have two choices. I can choose to see my husband and all his imperfections and annoying habits and shortcomings as a father and husband. I can bring all of those to the forefront and let them run my thoughts and feelings and literally allow them to destroy our connection as husband and wife. I can choose to let the Devil take over and poison our words, interactions, looks, gestures, body language and attitudes. Because that is exactly what will happen if I choose to see my husband in that negative and hateful manner. And likewise, if he chooses to see me and all my imperfections and annoying habits, and allows the Devil to dictate his actions towards me, the worst possible scenario will happen to our marriage. It goes both ways.
The other choice I have is to see my husband as the thoughtful, generous, witty, intelligent, goofy, caring, hard-working man that he is. And yes, he is all those things and so much more. He exudes these qualities on a daily basis. When I look at my husband with tender eyes and see the goodness he brings to my life and the life of our children I can not help but love him. I can not help but respect him. And that is what I should do, what I am called to do. To love and respect my husband. I find these two actions, love and respect very hard to show at times. More often than not, I choose not to show my husband love and respect. And every time, it ends up the same. Bottled up anger and emotions that leads to silence that leads to tension that leads to hurt and disappointment. Have I learned anything through the years? Granted, my husband and I have only been married almost 4 years. But you'd think during this time I would have learned the cyles of destruction and chosen not to take us down that path. Nope, not I. And not my husband either.
The choice to see my husband as the best husband in the entire universe is not always the easiest, but it comes with the most glorious and exhilirating rewards! He is the best husband and Daddy in the entire world because he takes time to play soccer with the boys, brushes his daughter's hair and puts it in a ponytail when she asks, fixes my cup of coffee in the morning, lets me sleep in on Saturdays, reads to our children, kisses me before he leaves for work, gives the kids baths, takes my crap on a daily basis and wrestles with the boys on a nightly basis! All of this is just the tip of the gigantic iceberg! He is a Superhero Dad! He is a my very own Super-Man! He is because I choose to see him this way.
I choose to see my husband through God's eyes! I wake up every morning and ask for God's goggles to see my husband in this way. And I will continue to ask for His help because without it, I will fail as a wife. More on asking for God's help later.
I want to have the best marraige I can possibly have. I want to be the best wife I can possibly be. Therefore, I will choose wisely and choose to see my husband as the best so I can inturn be the best.
2 comments:
This was a really honest blog post. It would be easy to assume that we all had perfect marriages, homes and children because most of us write about the good stuff in our week. It takes guts to write what many of us are going through behind closed doors. Marriage is hard. You can see how hard in the numbers that fail. You sound like you are doing your best to see the good in your husband and remember what it was that led you to fall in love with him. A good reminder to us all to try to do the same...
Thank you for this post. I, for some reason, have a hard time seeing past the "good stuff" people post on their blogs and facebook. It's nice to know that somebody else has a "real" marriage. ;) I have to pray on a daily basis to see Matt through God's eyes as well, and I'm sure he does too. If only we were perfect....one day...
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