Thursday, April 29, 2010

Martin Farrell

Updated:

CORRECTION - I stated that the name Martin means 'mighty warrior asked of God.' The name Martin actually means 'mighty warrior' and the name Samuel means 'asked of God.' So Martin Samuel means 'mighty warrior asked of God.' I'm glad we got that straight.

original post: 

I haven't been able to blog about it. I haven't been able to Tweet about it. I figure maybe now is the time to start trying. Maybe it will help. Maybe it won't. It's not that I don't think about writing or even really want to sit down and write. I honestly am not sure how to write about it or what to write about it. And would anyone want to hear? My thoughts are scattered and I have a hard time staying focused even today. Stay with me...

I just looked at my last post to see how long it had been since I blogged. Ironically enough, my last post is dated April 9. It was a Friday. It will be three weeks tomorrow. My little brother, Martin Samuel Farrell, was killed in a car accident Friday, April 9. He was only 16 years old. I still cry everyday. Most days I weep from the pain and loss and helplessness. My energy is low and my nerves are high.

I spoke at Martin's funeral. I felt like I needed to. I felt I had to. For myself, for my Mom and Dad, for my husband and four children and for Martin. Here is what I said.




Keep our family in your prayers as we face this tragic time. It came so abruptly. So forcefully. Our hearts are broken and our normal has been twisted and shredded.

I know in my heart Martin is sitting with Jesus. I know in my heart Martin is home. I know in my heart I will see Martin again. 

6 comments:

Jaimin said...

Thank you for sharing, Jessica. Made me all teary-eyed. You and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers. Love you, girl!

Susie said...

I am so sorry to hear that!! I will keep you and the family in my prayers. I can't imagine losing one of my siblings. I am so sad for you. I completely understand why you couldn't post. By the way I did miss your stories about the kids.

Sari said...

Dearest Jess, so proud of you for sharing, for writing, for letting us carry some of this with you.

My prayers, my heart is with you, your Mom, your Dad, the children. Daily. There aren't words to describe how I wish I knew what to say, to do.. to help..

Martin has forever changed our lives. And he is so very much missed.

I love you and I am here. Just here. Whenever you need me.

Gina said...

I'm so sorry to hear this. I had missed your blog updates but thought family life was just busy and that we would have a great big catch up from you soon with lots of happy photos, and then to hear that you have been going through all of this over the last three weeks. I'm so sorry Jessica. You are very brave to share this on your blog. I love the words you wrote to your brother. You have portrayed him in a really good way. Some day you will get to finish your debate...

Emily said...

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. The letter was really beautiful and a wonderful way to let some feelings out into the void.

Bellismom said...

I had know idea this was your brother. I saw this in the news and it broke my heart. Praying for healing for you and your family.