CORRECTION - I stated that the name Martin means 'mighty warrior asked of God.' The name Martin actually means 'mighty warrior' and the name Samuel means 'asked of God.' So Martin Samuel means 'mighty warrior asked of God.' I'm glad we got that straight.
I haven't been able to blog about it. I haven't been able to Tweet about it. I figure maybe now is the time to start trying. Maybe it will help. Maybe it won't. It's not that I don't think about writing or even really want to sit down and write. I honestly am not sure how to write about it or what to write about it. And would anyone want to hear? My thoughts are scattered and I have a hard time staying focused even today. Stay with me...
I just looked at my last post to see how long it had been since I blogged. Ironically enough, my last post is dated April 9. It was a Friday. It will be three weeks tomorrow. My little brother, Martin Samuel Farrell, was killed in a car accident Friday, April 9. He was only 16 years old. I still cry everyday. Most days I weep from the pain and loss and helplessness. My energy is low and my nerves are high.
I spoke at Martin's funeral. I felt like I needed to. I felt I had to. For myself, for my Mom and Dad, for my husband and four children and for Martin. Here is what I said.
Keep our family in your prayers as we face this tragic time. It came so abruptly. So forcefully. Our hearts are broken and our normal has been twisted and shredded.
I know in my heart Martin is sitting with Jesus. I know in my heart Martin is home. I know in my heart I will see Martin again.